One of the most iconic stories of the bible is when Jesus meets the woman at the well. It’s a story of foreginess and redemption. The focus of the story is that Jesus gave her living water; which rises as a spring within her soul. This living water is Jesus. What we don’t think about is the empty bucket, probably dropped on the ground. (I hadn’t thought about it either until I read the book “Depression: The Sun Also Rises” by Margaret Ashmore.) She talked about how the bucket was our sin.
This honestly changed my whole view of this story. For her to get physical water, she had to lower her physical bucket down into the well. Throughout the bible, a common thread is that we have to lay down our burdens, our sins, and follow God. Now, this may sound easy, but it’s not. We are comfortable in our sin, almost to the point where we crave it. We ‘re like a baby with a sticky sucker; we let it lay on the table of our high chair, but when someone tries to take it, we throw a fit for it. . So, what’s in your bucket? We can sort of figure out the woman at the well was a prostitute from what Jesus tells us; HusbandJohn 4:18 The fact is, you have had five husbands, and the man you now have is not your husband. What you Have just said is quite true.” For me, I’ve always struggled with my emotions, as much as I want to blame it ALL my emotional issues on my Cerebral Palsy; I can’t. (Yes, the CP does, to an extent, affect my emotions.) It’s up to me to decide how to act. God’s will is for me to lay my emotions down in my bucket and follow Him. I want that; sounds easy, right. Well… It’s never easy to change; especially when it takes us out of our comfort zone. We hold to it like Linus holds to his blue security blanket in the Peanuts comics. If it doesn’t give us some type of securtiy, we wouldn’t wallow in it. You don’t see a pig taking a bubble bath. He’s out back making mud pies. We aren’t pigs. God gave us a will and a choice. I can choose to drop my bucket and follow Him. And sometimes it takes losing almost everything to loosen our grip and drop the bucket. I recently watched the movie The King's Speech. It's about the rise of King George VI and how he overcame a speech impediment. It brought to light a topic that has been, in my opinion, underdeveloped in the main stream media. We often hear people making fun of people's speech; be it a impediment, an accent, slang or whatever. It hurts when someone makes fun of something you can't control.
I've heard it all: Are you drunk? Why do you talk like that? Stop talking like that...And my personal favorite, someone will call and ask to speak to my mommy!!! My brother, Luke, is 22 months younger than I am. He landed up in speech therapy too because he learned to talk like me, LOL. One thing about Cerebral Palsy is it doesn't effect everyone the same way. I happen to have spastic CP, which sort of effects everything; including my speech. It seams as I get older, my speech is getting worse. Even the people closest to me are having trouble understanding me. It's frustrating because I can't communicate what I want to but its equally - maybe even more - frustrating to the person you're talking to because they desperately want to understand you I really just wanted to use this cute little image...LOL!!! We all fight something; poverty, illness, racism, government, social norms...The list could go on and on.
One of my fights is against Cerebral Palsy. Not sure why GOD chose me for this fight, but HE did. The look of this fight has changed many times: from a little girl standing with a walker, to a college student, to a new wife who is afraid that if she falls it might hurt her unborn baby, to a mother with teenagers, to a woman who checks herself into a nursing home to better her family. WHEW... Its not the fights itself that matters...Its how we fight that's important. Do we choose to play the poor me victim card or do we pull ourselves up by our boot straps and do whatever we need to win the battle? I have played it both ways: and I think most people, if they're honest, do to. muscle spasmsOne of the hardest things to me about having Cerebral Palsy is the muscle spasms. It's like being shocked by a bolt of lighting that rams throughout my body. It literately takes my breath away. I fell getting into the car 2 weeks ago and I'm not sure if I hurt my back or if I pulled a muscle, but the spasm are horrible. I can't really explain a spasm to someone; you either have them or you don't. I always, with any part of my CP, try to remember that there are so many people who are worse off than I am. But it takes me back and reminds me that I am disabled and that I do have issues that physically need attending too. I do take muscle relaxers as needed, but they totally knock me out, I already take medicine for my bipolar depression that puts me to sleep, so adding a muscle relaxer on top of this really knocks me out. However, sometimes I have to have the muscle relaxer just in order to get through the day (or night).
Welcome to Cerebral Palsy Awareness Month on The Crippled Mama. I haven't blogged in quite a while because in October I went to live in a nursing home. It was MY choice. I was falling more and Bryan ant the kids were busy with work and school; as they should be. Cerebral Pals isn't always pretty and glamorous. A few days before I moved to the nursing home, I fell an was in the floor for almost four hours. This wasn't the reason I came to the nursing home, but was a vitrification that I was doing the right thing.
I wrote this when my son was about 3 months old. Hope to get it published as a children's book one day.
Dalton’s Mommy Hello, my name is Dalton Keith and I want to tell you about my mommy. She has a disability called Cerebral Palsy, CP for short. CP affects how Mommy walks and talks and everything else she does. Before I was born Mommy had to be extra careful not to fall and hurt me in her tummy. When I was a baby Mommy pushed me in my stroller, even in the house, so she wouldn’t fall while she was carrying me. Daddy said I was Supper Baby because as rough as Mommy was with me, I never got hurt. Mommy walk funny. She told me that one time a little girl asked her why she had two broken legs. I laughed. Her legs aren’t broken; they’re just crooked. When we go shopping, my mommy drives a scooter so she won’t get so tired. Sometimes I ride in her lap, but sometimes I hold Daddy’s hand and walk like a big boy. We also get to park in the blue parking places. Mommy talks funny too. My friends will ask me what she said, but I know what she says. Mommy makes messes, but she cleans them up. She gets made if I don’t clean up my messes. Sometimes people laugh at my mommy and call her names. This makes me sad. Daddy said it is because they don’t know how special Mommy is. Mommy and Daddy and I laugh a lot too and this makes me happy. Some people think my mommy isn’t smart but before I was born she went to college. That is where she met Daddy. Sometimes I wish Mommy didn’t have Cerebral Palsy. Mommy said she wished I wouldn’t chase our dog Princess around and try to ride her. Mommy takes good care of me and Daddy and my little sister. I love my Mommy. All of us judge one to an extent. We've all looked at others' situations and say; "If that was me, I'd do things this ways." That sounds good in theory ~ and maybe there are better ways to handle things, but in the end everyone HAS to do what's best for them and their family. Unless you part of their immediate family ~ and sometimes even then ~ you don't have enough information to judge. Every situation is unique and made up of intricate parts that cannot be seen from the outside. When people judge and make assumptions, it can hurt in several ways. It makes the people feel bad, especially if the situation is difficult in the first place. If you give advice and don't know the whole story, it may come across as ignorance ~even though its not meant that way at all. Those who are involved and trying to help may be seen in a negative light. Rumors and misconceptions can be blown out of portion. When people are going through hard times; they need patience and prayer; not harsh judgment, love and kindness; not bitterness. Remember Thumper said: |